I grew up in a road trip family. We would pack a cooler and hit the road. So it genuinely did not occur to me that people were ordering snacks on airplanes until I watched my best friend work through the entire United Airlines Economy Snacks and Drinks menu on a flight and she looked at me like I had never lived. She was right. I had not yet lived.
I am a muncher by nature and I feel like a solid chunk of my childhood was robbed from me the moment I realized airplane snacks were a thing people actually did on purpose. I am now setting out to try them all and I have opinions. Strong ones. Written, for the record, at 30,000 feet with the menu in my lap.
The Drinks
Ginger Ale A flight classic, deeply nostalgic, and a hard no for me at this point in my life. The sugar content halfway through adulthood is not it. I love you, ginger ale. It’s not you, it’s me.
Blueberry AHA Sparkling Water This is the grown-up version of the ginger ale era and it’s the right call. Flavored, fizzy, zero sugar, and it makes you feel like you have your life together at altitude. Get this one.
Hot Tea I have ordered this exactly once, when I was absolutely freezing and desperate. Here’s the thing though: flight attendants will tell you straight up to avoid drinking the plane water. The water systems on planes are not something anyone wants to think too hard about. So hot tea is technically a gamble. I got it anyway. I survived. Your call.
Dasani Water A Coca-Cola byproduct, acidic, and widely considered one of the worst bottled waters on the market. It is also your only option if you’ve finished what you brought from home. I drink it. I’m not happy about it. Bring your own water through security or buy something before you board.
The Bubbles Situation There is exactly one sparkling wine option in economy and it’s Maker Brut Bubbles. If you’re celebrating something, that’s where it’s at. Not because it’s exceptional, but because it’s the only game in town and sometimes you just need to pop something.
Tomato Juice Someone is ordering this. I have questions. Either they really love tomato juice at altitude (apparently taste buds shift on planes and tomato juice genuinely tastes better up here, so there’s actually science behind this) or they brought their own vodka and are making a covert Bloody Mary. One is illegal, yet both are valid, honestly.
The Snacks
Let me go ahead and link the UAL menu here.
Takeoff Snack Box The most nutritious option on the menu and the one I’d actually recommend if you need something substantial. Beef salami, gouda, flatbread crackers, rosemary crackers, almonds, and a hazelnut wafer. It’s a solid little charcuterie moment for 30,000 feet.
Recline Snack Box Every single person in my family goes straight for this one on sight. The kids see the OREO branding and it’s over. Cowboy kettle chips, gummy bears, Vermont cheddar, fruit and nut mix, cookies. It’s a fun box. It is not nutritious. We get it anyway.
Stroopwafel A classic for a reason. The move here is to balance it on top of your hot drink for a minute before eating it so the caramel softens. If you eat it cold straight out of the wrapper you are doing it wrong and I will not apologize for saying that.
Bakeology Chocolate Chip Cookie Bites These are gluten free, which I just found out reading the menu on this very flight. I have not tried them yet but I will be ordering them next time and reporting back. The fact that there is a gluten-free option that isn’t a sad rice cake is worth noting.
Quinoa Chocolate Crisp and the “That’s It” Bar For the gluten free and dairy free crowd, these are your best bets for a quick blood sugar hit. They exist. They are fine. They will get you through.
A Word of Warning on the Chocolate Cookie Bites The chocolate crumble situation is real. I have deplaned with melted chocolate on my pants more times than I will admit here. Light colors and chocolate snacks at altitude are a commitment. You have been warned.
Savory Snack Mix Bagel chips, garlic bread bites, and pretzel twists. Vegetarian, and reliably snackable. A solid mindless munching option when you just need something salty.
Can I note that United Airlines Food and Drinks are covered by the AmEx “incidental” credit when you choose your preferred snack airline? This #hack is meant to be for things like baggage fees but when you fly carry-on only you get these really important added perqs, lol.
The Bottom Line
Bring your own water. Get the Blueberry AHA. If you need a snack box, Takeoff is the most nutritious and Recline is the most fun. Warm your Stroopwafel. Avoid the plane water unless it’s an emergency. And if you see someone drinking tomato juice, respect the commitment.
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